A lot of weight. Probably the biggest and heaviest I’ve been. And I come in at a very miniature 4 ft 11 so that weight has not got many places to go. So let’s just say I’m feeling very weeble like...anyone born after 2000, google it. Now before you all come at me with ‘you… Continue reading I’ve put on weight…
I was mostly drunk. This year, to save me from tears I’ll give it a try being sober. No, but really...this year is going to be different for so many reasons. Clearly there’s the obvious festive corona in the air but that’s actually not having a massive impact on my Christmas. This year not only… Continue reading Last Christmas…
Do you know what’s worse than being a single woman in her 40s who lives at home with her parents, has mental health issues and an alcohol problem? A single woman in her 40s who lives at home with her parents, has mental health issues, an alcohol problem AND is Indian. I mean when I… Continue reading The Asian Equation
Today, a friend posted on Instagram about her recent struggles and how her mental health has deteriorated enough to warrant new medication. She was already taking anti anxiety meds and how now been put on an anti-depressant of sorts; I know this because I’ve been prescribed both in the past. Anyway having only known her… Continue reading Mental illness, medication and me.
Because the goal posts have changed. Because the further along I get on this journey, the more I’m realising something. It’s all bullshit. Everything. *Buckle up, this is a long one* All that we learn. All that we are told. All that we believe. All that we think is right or wrong. All bigger than… Continue reading Why aren’t you crying anymore?
Yes it’s a word. Look it up if you don’t believe me. Okay don’t, it’s clearly not a word but I couldn’t decide between proud and empowered so I went with both. I can’t remember the last time I felt genuinely proud of myself. Not just an ‘I did good’ or pat on the back… Continue reading Em-proud
So did I, so did I... And I am, but doesn’t mean I don’t feel the not so good days. And now I really feel them. Like intensely. Without alcohol I feel everything. This weekend something felt off. I didn’t start my day as I usually do. There was no meditating, no connecting with my… Continue reading But I thought you were doing better?
So we left off just after breakfast. Where I attempted to redeem myself with nutrition supplements and vitamins after my cheesy beans on toast...god that was good. Now a little bit about my home life before I go on. As previously mentioned I live at home with my parents. This is something that for a… Continue reading A day in the life of… Part II
If I’m honest, I don’t even know anymore. I guess it’s subjective? I could post a picture on here where I think I look nice and some would think I’m trying to grab attention. I suppose I am in a way, but not necessarily because I’m all ‘look at me, like my photo’ but mostly… Continue reading Authenticity or attention seeking ?
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye. Life will reward you with a new hello” ⁃ Paul Coelho It’s been 164 days since we were last together. Feels longer doesn’t it? I wasn’t sure whether I should write this letter. I was scared of the feelings it would bring up. They say that there is… Continue reading Dear alcohol