The good, the bad and the…decide for yourself.

Are you thinking about network marketing? Have you been approached by people to join their team and company so you can build a business and become financially free? Or maybe you’re already involved but new to the game and are trying to suss things out.

Getting an honest account about network marketing can be difficult. There are the clear haters out there who have so much venom in their blood when it comes to anything MLM, you’d think that they’d been forced to sell their organs when in fact a lot of them haven’t even been involved. Then there are the ‘this business will change your life’ types. Who for the most part really do think it will because for them it probably has. But obviously it’s not as straightforward as they might make out.

Having recently stepped out of the MLM arena I wanted to share my experience and give you some pros and cons so you can take these into consideration when choosing to jump in…or jump out. The thoughts and opinions that follow are from three ex consultants (myself included) who were all within the same company. Myself and Ella joined I think at about the same time and were in the same wider team. As was Lauren (not her real name) although she had joined a few months before we did. This post is purely for guidance and advice and something we ourselves would have found useful before we stepped in.

WHY?

You’ll be asked this question over and over. What is your why? Why are you here? Why do you want this? Now this is a very important question because it isn’t easy so when the going gets tough you need a pretty solid reason to keep pushing you through. However, when you are struggling or your business isn’t growing as well as you’d like you might also be told that your why isn’t big enough. That your why should make you cry. When you first hear this it’s powerful and it’s a great motivator. But just be mindful that your reasons to be there are your reasons. You don’t need to change them to suit anybody but yourself.

OPINIONS OF OTHERS

This is a really hard one. And I personally think, and I know Ella and Lauren agree that you really need to shut off the outside noise. Everyone is going to have an opinion or a bit of advice when you join. You’ll be told by your mentors that these people and their opinions won’t pay your bills so don’t listen to them. That is of course true, but I think what I would suggest is that you gather as much genuine and factual evidence that you can. Find out the source of these opinions, do your research but ultimately go with your gut. If something doesn’t sit right with you or you’re unsure, then hold off. Wait until you are really sure. Because you’ll be told not to wait, what’s the big deal, it’s not even a big risk. But once you’re in things change very quickly. So just jump in if and when YOU want to.

STAY GROUNDED

No matter what you see, hear or experience. Keep your feet fully on the ground at all times. We cannot stress how important this is. The lifestyle that is offered is by no means out of reach and it is the stuff of dreams. Big massive fuck off dreams. But take one foot of the ground even slightly and you will get swept up in it all. Your ego will take over and before you know it you’ll have forgotten your ‘why’ and will see nothing more than fancy brunch meetings, taking selfies from your poolside ‘office’, walking the stage at annual conferences, flashy cars and 5 star holidays. Don’t get me wrong, that shit can and does happen…but only for a small perecentage. I’m talking less than 2%. Yep….really! And here’s why…

THE LEVEL PLAYING FIELD

It looks level. They tell you it’s level. But it’s only really level on the surface. You can absolutely promote above your sponsor and anyone else above you because you can obviously make more sales and build a bigger team than them. BUT, the important factor I didn’t take into account (because I was told numerous times it wasn’t an issue) is your existing network of people when you join. We were told that our warm network was the best place to start for reaching out about the business and the products. By warm they mean, not your nearest and dearest but friends of friends, old acquaintances, people you see from time to time, the waitress you are always chatting to in your local coffee shop, your nail lady. Now it sounds cringey as hell but at the end of the day the business model does work and you never know who will benefit from the business or the products unless you ask. However if your warm network are not at all interested this is when the playing field starts to slope.

Going off my experience I joined when I had recently left my full time job, I had a fairly non existent social circle and I really didn’t have that many people to reach out to. So, after annoying my warm network for several months I had to go wider. And for me that meant total strangers, which again isn’t a bad thing but building up a relationship with someone new takes time so to avoid being spammy Sammy you can’t just shove the business in someone’s face as soon as you start chatting. So my advice is take a look at your network. If you are living a socialite life in a big city you will probably get off to a good start. If not, you can still make it work but be prepared for it to take longer and potentially reduce your sleeping hours to 5 hours a night.

IT WORKS IF YOU WORK

Sorry but I call bullshit. I personally worked my ass off and for me things just didn’t take off. Yes I had clients, yes I had interest in the business but ultimately it wasn’t enough. So you can put in all the effort you want but if you don’t come across the right kind of people, aren’t in the position financially to buy products for your own use as well as for people to try at product parties etc then you are already heading towards struggle town. They will tell you luck doesn’t come into it, but I’m afraid it does. I am sure every successful consultant paid their dues and put in some serious hustling but the second you have got an instagram profile that is influencer worthy and you can be seen dining in high end restaurants, holidaying on yachts then of course people will want what you have. And the strangers you personally reach out to are likely to watch from the sidelines for a while and inevitably go join a more successful looking consultant.

I WILL GUIDE YOU

This one is a funny one and I can’t say it was something that I was told. But I see a lot of consultants telling people that it doesn’t matter if they don’t understand how it all works or if they’ve never been involved in sales because they will ‘hold your hand’ and guide you every step of the way. This may happen in some teams, it did not happen in mine. Did I receive training and guidance, yes absolutely. Did anyone hold my hand, ummm not quite.

Not long after I joined the wider team WhatsApp group was restricted so only those who were admins in the group could post in the group. As a new consultant who obviously had lots of questions to ask this was a bit frustrating and I know I wasn’t the only one who thought this. We were also told that we should direct questions to our 3 way chat with our sponsor and mentor. This may have worked for some but my sponsor was based in Australia and my mentor very rarely read the messages let alone had time to respond. So when you needed to be able to get a prompt answer the big group was ideal, but only for the admins. And in order to become an admin you had to have promoted to the first level. Yes I know, alarm bells should have been ringing at this point. Wait, it gets better. After chatting to a few of the other new consultants I thought it might be nice to start our own WhatsApp group so we could at least support each other and bounce ideas off of one another. This group was kindly reported to the head mistress…sorry I mean my mentor and she gave me a call to basically tell me off. At this point the alarm bell was being bashed against my head and yet I still continued.

Lauren makes a good point in that you were only really ever contacted directly by your mentor to see if you had signed up the latest training, booked in enough product parties etc. And Ella was told by her mentor that as she wasn’t reaching out to 50 new people a day she wasn’t worth giving the time and support to. What I think is evident is that the relationship you have with you mentor and upline makes a huge difference. I clearly didn’t have the best relationship with mine because when I asked if she would do an instagram live with me to help promote the business she declined and told me they were a waste of time. But I also know there are some excellent mentors out there. Approachable, supportive and don’t make you feel like just another number. Find them and you are edging closer to that 2% already.

If you have got this far I applaud your commitment. And you are probably wondering if there’s anything good about network marketing or if it’s all a big lie. It’s not, it can work and I know consultants that are killing it. In fact there are consultants I connected with when I started who were also new to the game and they are not only doing well but they are genuinely lovely people who I am still in touch with now. And Lauren also agrees that you really can meet some incredible people and build some fantastic friendships.

But our biggest contender in the positive corner is the self development journey you will go on. You will be encouraged to read and absorb as much personal growth material you can and I think that all three of us will say that none of this is a waste of time. How can it be? Working on your mindset, gaining perspective, thinking outside of the box and opening up your mind is never going to be a bad thing. You will learn things about yourself that will change the game. Whether that’s the game of network marketing or just the game in general. Either are respectable. For all three of us we learned enough to know that the company we were with was not for us. But we also learned a lot from our time with that company and that has allowed us to go in different directions which may not have happened had we not dipped our toe into network marketing at all.

So I think it’s safe to say none of us regret our decision to join. Nor do we regret our decision to leave. It was just a stepping stone in our journey that we are grateful for, each with our own reasons.

I write this post in the hope that someone reads it and takes the advice on board. It might just get lost in the blogging blackhole or it may find its way to someone who is struggling to decide and just needs some first hand knowledge.

Thank you and goodnight!

Why aren’t you crying anymore?

Because the goal posts have changed. Because the further along I get on this journey, the more I’m realising something. It’s all bullshit. Everything.

*Buckle up, this is a long one*

All that we learn. All that we are told. All that we believe. All that we think is right or wrong. All bigger than a pile of dinosaur crap. If I even begin to try and explain what I mean we’d end up going down a fuck off rabbit hole and I don’t know about you but I’ve only just pulled myself out of Britney’s one and don’t even get me started on online furniture stores!

What I will say is this. Intuition is the most underused power we have. That gut feeling is real and if we listening to it more I think we’d be living very different lives. How many times have you not trusted your gut enough and ended up seeking outside validation? Asking others for opinions? You cloud your conscience with outside noise and go against what you think or feel. And then you kick yourself after. Well, stop kicking yourself. Stop living with regret.

This week In my first module at the Boss Life Business Academy we covered the topic that most business training courses start off with. Why? Why are you here? Why that vision? Why you’re doing what you’re doing? But this time it was different. Laura (my coach) said that in a lot of cases when asked that question people are told that ‘if your why doesn’t make you cry it’s not big enough’. In other words it’s not going to be a strong enough driving force. At the start I felt that, I really did. And when I first really dug deep and ‘peeled back the layers’, the underlining ‘why’ did make me cry. But that was well over 8 months ago.

Am I crying now? No. Now I’m all fired up and quite honestly a bit pissed off. Because like I said, it’s all just BS. When I joined my network marketing company my eyes were opened massively to social conditioning, how society has put limitations on us without us even realising and how much we seek outside validation in almost everything. And it’s true, it really is. And it’s frustrating when you realise that the reason you’ve been miserable your entire life is because you tried to fit in when you didn’t have to.

But here’s the…I was going to write tea then and I stopped myself. I hate that phrase. Who invented it? I’ve said it myself I’ll admit but that’s what I mean, I was going to write it because it’s what everyone else says and I thought it would make me sound down with the kids. So enough of that shit. Where was I? Here’s the…fuck, now I don’t know what word fits. Let’s just move on…

You are now all of a sudden hearing all these new things and idealism’s and before you know it you’re following a new narrative. Just because this new mass of people are telling you this is ‘the new way, the better way’. I’m not saying they are wrong, in fact I completely agree with them but before you know it you get swept up in it all and you start to believe that this is the only way. When we know it’s not the only way. Because we were doing it differently before and had we not been told this we would have carried on in the old way. Miserable as fuck maybe. But we’d have carried on.

What I’m trying to say is the right thing and the right way is whatever you want it to be. You get to choose. If you choose the to work for someone else and it brings in enough money for you and your family to love the life you want then carry on. If that’s not your bag and you live for adventure and freedom then find a way to earn money as you travel the world. If you want extravagant and elaborate then you’re probably going to have have your fingers in more than one pie but if you’re ok with that then go for it my friend. You do you! Stop listening to the outside noise.

And me, my new why? I have a network marketing company that will get me to my end goal. I don’t think there’s anything bad about the business model. I love the products and only buy what I use. Because fact is they are expensive. But they also last ages, are incredible, do what they say on the tin and are good for us and the planet so I’m not going to argue over that. But I am building this business for one reason. Money. And if anyone says that’s not why they do this then they’re lying. Because it’s the money that will give me the opportunity to do what I really want to do. So no, I’m not in my dream life or career. I’m using this company to get me there. They tell you that this is your vehicle to get you where you want to go but fail to tell you that the vehicle has dual controls and if you let them they’ll take over. So I’m taking my vehicle back and doing things my way.

They say that most people in network marketing end up walking away having lost money. I actually understand where they’re coming from. You don’t HAVE to buy a bunch of products in this business but you are definitely encouraged to. If you don’t you’re told that you’re not serious enough about it, you’re not being a good brand ambassador, put it on a credit card you’ll make it back in no time’. Bullshit! This is your business do what the hell you want. I’m not saying you’re more likely to succeed but if spending money you don’t have on products makes you feel uncomfortable then don’t do it. If you’re told that not attending every team training call means you’re not showing up for your business, screw them! Only you know what is right for your business and you are entitled to do things your way. Don’t do things someone else’s way and then walk away pissed off that it didn’t work. That’s where the negativity comes from. If I walked away from this company even now I wouldn’t slag it off having not succeeded. Whatever the outcome my experience is my experience. My last company I worked for basically pushed me out because of my mental health. I think they call that discrimination! But I’m not there writing articles and posts on social media about how poisonous they are. They fucked up with me, not the entire work force.

And don’t do what I did and start spouting all the crap you’re fed because everyone is saying the same thing and it makes us all sound like a bunch of idiotic robots. Whether it’s true or not just stop. Use your own words. Listen and learn but then decide what you align with and share that to your people in your own way. Not the way your upline told you.

This is beginning to sound like I hate network marketing and the company I’m with. I don’t. Not at all. I enjoy what I do and making a success of this is anyone’s game and it gives you a whole bucket load of opportunity. But I don’t see it as the world I belong in. It’s just one that I found and one I get to pass through on my way to where I’m really going. And if anyone were to join me that’s what I’d tell them. You have to like the way the company model works and you have to like what you are offering people. But you still get to do this your way. I will not make you do anything you don’t want to. I will lead by example and by experience and it’s up to you how you choose to follow.

We’re in the rabbit hole aren’t we? Shit, sorry!

Ok one last thing as we head to above ground level and can breathe again normally.

One short life. That’s all we get on this planet. At least that’s what we know (don’t worry I’m staying clear of that rabbit hole). So please, don’t do yourself an injustice by doing things that don’t feel right for you. If you don’t like it then take that as a sign it’s not for you. No one has to just carry on regardless, if you stay stuck in your unfulfilled life for too long you’ll end up like me attending A.A. meetings on a Friday night. Just sayin…

So no, I’m not crying anymore. Because I haven’t got time to cry. I’m on a mission to get everyone to follow their OWN narrative

Play the tape forward

I hadn’t heard this saying until recently. It’s commonly used in the addiction/recovery world as a technique to make you stop and think when you get an urge or craving to drink. It walks you through the likely stages that will follow on from ‘oh go on, one won’t hurt’. Because with all the good intentions and will power in the world, chances are it won’t just be the one!

I haven’t had that urge yet so I’m yet to play the tape forward in that sense. But it got me thinking that the analogy could be used in a different way. What if rather then play the tape forward on a night out with friends, we play it forward in life?

Let’s say the tape is pretty long, five years long. If you played your life tape forward from this exact point today, what would you see? Where are you? Who’s with you? What are you doing? If you made no changes to your life today, where would you be in 5 years?

When I was in my 20s I had one of those 5-10 year plans. When I got into my 30s my plan hadn’t quite gone to plan. In fact I may have hit rewind rather than play…or at least that’s what it felt like. You see, my plan didn’t materialize because I didn’t do anything to help it. I didn’t look at what I needed to do or what actions I needed to take in order for me to be living the life I desired by my mid 30s. Some things were out of my control but I can see now that most weren’t.

So here I am about to turn 40 but thankfully I have a new plan AND I’ve already set the wheels in motion.

So let me ask you a different way. Do you have goals, ambitions, dreams? Of course you do, everybody does. The likely problem is you might not think they are achievable and that’s not your fault. When we are born our mind is infinite, we believe that anything is possible. Then as we grow older society tells us different. Limits are put on things, doubt is installed and you resign yourself to the fact that you are just not meant for extraordinary. So you settle. Because it’s safer. Less scary. Yawn!

But what if you chose not to settle? What if you believed your dreams were achievable? What if you found a way of to make your life a little less ordinary? Imagine a vehicle sat in your driveway with the engine running and someone is handing you the keys and telling you that said vehicle’s destination is your dream life. Would you grab them, jump in and never look back? Of course you bloody would! But what if all the Karen’s and Susan’s of the world were looking at you with that ‘hmmmm, I’m not sure’ look on their face, telling you that it’s too risky and that you should get your head out of the clouds and just be happy with what you’ve got. What would you do then? Would you listen to them and turn off the engine? Would you let fear stop you? The correct answer here is that you would thank Karen and Susan for their opinion and kindly tell them to fuck off!

No one is going to hand you your dream life, BUT they might hand you the keys. All you have to do is the work to get that car moving. And you also have to dig deep and find that fearless inner child in you. The one who believed anything was possible, the one who wanted to grow up and be an astronaut (yep, me!) and the one who didn’t let the risk of failing stop them dreaming. Remember when you learned to walk? No, me neither. But I’m pretty sure we fell over many times, acquired some bumps and bruises all before we took those magical first steps.

If life continues as is and you play your tape forward can you see the life you hoped for? Now, rewind the tape and imagine being handed those keys. When you hit play this time, what do you see? Keep that picture in your mind, hold onto it and know that it is possible. But it starts with you. It starts with you making a choice. A choice to remain stationary or to start moving.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes *pause*